Blade IV
Written by David M. Muench
This isn't about the newest Wesley Snipes "vampire" movie, but the interminable developments of safety razors.
It all began with the invention of the safety razor.
"Hey," declares a bored engineer. "We can improve on this thing. Let's put on a lubricated strip, create a flexible; pivoting head, and make it ergonomic."
"Ergonomic?"
"Well, yeah. Makes it sound all European and stuff."
"Um, okay."
It didn't stop there. Soon it was two blades, and the stubbly public was jubilant.
"What's better than two?" inquires the imaginative engineer.
"Three?"
"Exactly!"
And just like that, the three-bladed razor was born. Granted, this newest entry to the hygiene department is a marvel in modern invention. Unfortunately, the razor heads are beginning to get bulky. It's quite a chore to shave those hard-to-reach areas. Hey, eyes up here, freak. I'm talking about under my nose. I have to get those two-bladed disposables to use for "detailing."
Isn't that great? I have to detail my face now.
When I think that nobody in their right mind would "improve" upon the three-bladed wonder; a delusional sociopath working for Schick invents a "four-bladed" razor entitled "Quattro 4." It sounds like a sports car. Hey, after you shave you can drive it around the block.
So you've got this four-bladed razor head the size of a small cell phone scraping down your skin, and as the blood pools on the floor at your feet you begin reminiscing about the good old days. Way back when they only had two blades.
And you never would have thought that you'd need skin grafts.
Sunday, October 12, 2003
Blade IV
Blade IV
Written by David M. Muench
This isn't about the newest Wesley Snipes "vampire" movie, but the interminable developments of safety razors.
It all began with the invention of the safety razor.
"Hey," declares a bored engineer. "We can improve on this thing. Let's put on a lubricated strip, create a flexible; pivoting head, and make it ergonomic."
"Ergonomic?"
"Well, yeah. Makes it sound all European and stuff."
"Um, okay."
It didn't stop there. Soon it was two blades, and the stubbly public was jubilant.
"What's better than two?" inquires the imaginative engineer.
"Three?"
"Exactly!"
And just like that, the three-bladed razor was born. Granted, this newest entry to the hygiene department is a marvel in modern invention. Unfortunately, the razor heads are beginning to get bulky. It's quite a chore to shave those hard-to-reach areas. Hey, eyes up here, freak. I'm talking about under my nose. I have to get those two-bladed disposables to use for "detailing."
Isn't that great? I have to detail my face now.
When I think that nobody in their right mind would "improve" upon the three-bladed wonder; a delusional sociopath working for Schick invents a "four-bladed" razor entitled "Quattro 4." It sounds like a sports car. Hey, after you shave you can drive it around the block.
So you've got this four-bladed razor head the size of a small cell phone scraping down your skin, and as the blood pools on the floor at your feet you begin reminiscing about the good old days. Way back when they only had two blades.
And you never would have thought that you'd need skin grafts.
Written by David M. Muench
This isn't about the newest Wesley Snipes "vampire" movie, but the interminable developments of safety razors.
It all began with the invention of the safety razor.
"Hey," declares a bored engineer. "We can improve on this thing. Let's put on a lubricated strip, create a flexible; pivoting head, and make it ergonomic."
"Ergonomic?"
"Well, yeah. Makes it sound all European and stuff."
"Um, okay."
It didn't stop there. Soon it was two blades, and the stubbly public was jubilant.
"What's better than two?" inquires the imaginative engineer.
"Three?"
"Exactly!"
And just like that, the three-bladed razor was born. Granted, this newest entry to the hygiene department is a marvel in modern invention. Unfortunately, the razor heads are beginning to get bulky. It's quite a chore to shave those hard-to-reach areas. Hey, eyes up here, freak. I'm talking about under my nose. I have to get those two-bladed disposables to use for "detailing."
Isn't that great? I have to detail my face now.
When I think that nobody in their right mind would "improve" upon the three-bladed wonder; a delusional sociopath working for Schick invents a "four-bladed" razor entitled "Quattro 4." It sounds like a sports car. Hey, after you shave you can drive it around the block.
So you've got this four-bladed razor head the size of a small cell phone scraping down your skin, and as the blood pools on the floor at your feet you begin reminiscing about the good old days. Way back when they only had two blades.
And you never would have thought that you'd need skin grafts.
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