My Cashier Was From Mars There I was in the checkout line at a local grocery store. The cashier, a gangly "Revenge of the Nerds" teen with oversized glasses, began sliding my items across the scanner while I established the usual "Nice weather we're having" type of patron banter with him.
"So how's it going today?" I began affably enough. I swear that's how this particular conversation began. Boy Scout's honor.

The Nerd Checker (you know, I think I actually found 'Waldo') answered that he was ready to get off work, and then stated that he was ready for a career. "Oh yeah? What are you wanting to do?" I pressed. "Well, I like building things and blowing things up," replied the now-suspicious Geek Squad member. My eyebrows slightly raised, I cautiously answered, "Oookay." At this point I was cursing myself for even beginning any sort of conversation with this kid, but it was too late to turn back now. I was committed to talking to him until he handed me my receipt and bid me a "nice day."
"So you like building things and blowing things up, huh?" I started again, hoping that maybe I misunderstood him, and what he really liked doing was playing "EverQuest," reciting the Klingon dictionary by heart, or even collecting trading cards featuring Bill Gates and Stephen Hawking. Sure, that's what he must have said.

"Yeah. If I could have a job building things that would be great, but I like demolishing things too."

Damn. "Huh. So maybe you could be in a demolition squad, or an explosives expert in the army."

"Yeah, I could. I think it would be cool to blow up a star."

At this point there was a customer in line behind me, and the customer and I exchanged a nervous glance and a quick smirk with each other.

I shot back, "I don't think it would be possible to 'blow up' a star."

Not one to be outdone, Mini Kaczynski responded as he handed me my receipt, "if I could stop the fusion process of the star I could blow it up."


With that I exchanged another furtive glance with the customer behind me and I said, "You know, I think I'll just wait for the movie." The customer laughed, and I strode away (very briskly) with my laden shopping cart, thankful to leave that odd conversation behind.

My Cashier Was From Mars

My Cashier Was From Mars There I was in the checkout line at a local grocery store. The cashier, a gangly "Revenge of the Nerds" teen with oversized glasses, began sliding my items across the scanner while I established the usual "Nice weather we're having" type of patron banter with him.

"So how's it going today?" I began affably enough. I swear that's how this particular conversation began. Boy Scout's honor.

The Nerd Checker (you know, I think I actually found 'Waldo') answered that he was ready to get off work, and then stated that he was ready for a career. "Oh yeah? What are you wanting to do?" I pressed. "Well, I like building things and blowing things up," replied the now-suspicious Geek Squad member. My eyebrows slightly raised, I cautiously answered, "Oookay." At this point I was cursing myself for even beginning any sort of conversation with this kid, but it was too late to turn back now. I was committed to talking to him until he handed me my receipt and bid me a "nice day."

"So you like building things and blowing things up, huh?" I started again, hoping that maybe I misunderstood him, and what he really liked doing was playing "EverQuest," reciting the Klingon dictionary by heart, or even collecting trading cards featuring Bill Gates and Stephen Hawking. Sure, that's what he must have said.

"Yeah. If I could have a job building things that would be great, but I like demolishing things too."

Damn. "Huh. So maybe you could be in a demolition squad, or an explosives expert in the army."

"Yeah, I could. I think it would be cool to blow up a star."

At this point there was a customer in line behind me, and the customer and I exchanged a nervous glance and a quick smirk with each other.

I shot back, "I don't think it would be possible to 'blow up' a star."

Not one to be outdone, Mini Kaczynski responded as he handed me my receipt, "if I could stop the fusion process of the star I could blow it up."

With that I exchanged another furtive glance with the customer behind me and I said, "You know, I think I'll just wait for the movie." The customer laughed, and I strode away (very briskly) with my laden shopping cart, thankful to leave that odd conversation behind.