Thursday, March 24, 2005

Enter Sandman

Enter Sandman
Written by David M. Muench

lions




I've had similar "night terrors," happening soon after I nod off - when I'm
on the razor-thin precipice between sleep and consciousness.
In my dreaming mind's eye, I've seen huge Spider Things drop down from the ceiling or a large, black snakes straight from Hades that have surreptitiously slinked its way to my jugular.

Naturally I don't wake up in a start, quickly realizing it was my imagination on methamphetamines, and gracefully fall back into peaceful slumber.

Noooo.

I have grabbed, swatted, kicked, and pummeled these "threats" that are - in some primordial portion of my brain - as real as the nose on my face.

Sometimes I can make it as far as the floor beside the bed, gasping for breath with my heart pounding against my ribcage after a tumultuous tussle with an evil nemesis in the form of a giant python. A few other times I have even ventured to my bedroom light switch; defiantly slamming it upward to flood the dastardly demons with a cleansing, holy light that only a 60 watt light bulb can bring.

Amusingly, the light also has a cleansing effect on my brain as well; and as I stand there in my boxers, squinting against the harsh light while poised in a clumsy Tae Kwon Do iron horse stance ready to defend myself, I realize that there really wasn't a dastardly demon.

Just a demented dumbass opening up a can of whoop ass on his comforter.

I shake my head in disbelief, flick the light back off, climb back into bed, and try to forget
that ever happened. Until the next time it happens.

2 comments:

Kate said...

well I have to say, really nice imagery.. you suck me right into the story...Boxers hhhmm?? I am a bit puzzled have you come over to the dark side?

Snrrkxgxks! and the Wild Outdoors | Shiny UNPLUGGED said...

[...] V8.  It’s not my only bad habit during my hours of sleep.  Sometimes I also like to slay pythons. But I [...]