An Effective Commercial
Written by David M. Muench
I was lounging in the living room portraying King Spud of all couch potatoes with my neural transmitters set to "zone out" while watching a television show. The usual commercial came on - advertising bath soap or laundry soap, I don't remember which one. Then in the middle of that innocuous commercial, the biggest damned cockroach I had ever seen crawls across the screen, taunting me. I furrowed my brow into a classic perplexed look, maybe an unconscious effort to kick up my neural transmitters from "zone out" to "Yo, Potato Head, go over to the screen and annihilate that abomination!"
Simultaneously with my increased brain activity, I blurted out the International phrase of bewilderment: "What the hell?" Perhaps not the most effective countermeasure to a crisis, but appropriate nonetheless. In fact, I was so puzzled by this new development that I was unable to remove myself from the couch to kill that sucker. If a troop of dancing mice starting doing a Broadway number on top of my head, I would have reacted in a similar way. About the time I had started to finally stand up, a man donning an Orkin uniform and wielding a spray bottle appeared on the screen and successfully killed the intruder. As the large bug fell from the screen, I almost expected to see it drop on the living room floor.
That, my friend, is an effective commercial.
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