A Not So Privy Privy

A Not So Privy Privy
Written by David M. Muench

An online friend recently sent me these pictures with the following text:

Here's a picture of a public toilet in Switzerland that's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box.





A few years ago I too experienced an over-exposed facility. But this one was in a local deli called "City Bites." After locating the bathroom sign I strode briskly (I reeeally had to go) to the door, noticing the large bank of mirrors covering the outside wall.

I stepped into the bathroom, closed the door behind me, and immediately discovered that the bank of mirrors was the wall. Eyes wide, I froze in my tracks. "What the hell kind of freaky exhibitionist bathroom is this?" I muttered to myself. I could see every single patron in the dining area. Never in my adult life have I had to experience peeing in front of complete strangers that didn't involve alcohol and strippers. It didn't matter that they couldn't see me. What did matter is that I could see them.

Trying to quell the uneasiness, I approached the toilet while eyeing a young woman walking perilously close to the mirrored wall. I nearly blurted out, "Hey, I'm trying to pee here!" I knew that nobody could actually see me, but that didn't stop me from bending my knees down as far as I could go without urinating on my legs. In my pitifully contorted state I couldn't help but think of the comically physical antics of Mr. Bean. Although I've never seen an episode called "Mr. Bean Urinates In a One-Way Mirrored Bathroom."

By the time I had finally assuaged myself that it's safe to let loose I resembled some sort of odd, cubist sculpture rendered by an artist on acid. No matter how uncomfortable you are, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

So I went.

After completing this unecessarily arduous task I exited the bathroom posthaste and left the deli - never to return again. Mind you, I still use public facilities, but the only damned mirrors I see better be on the inside, without a view.